I am grateful for the vote!
Author: <span>Gudrun</span>
Once again, I read: “Awakening is a shift in consciousness in which thinking and awareness separate.” —Eckhart Tolle
I still remember a moment, at the age of ten, when my non-thinking mind slid into a barrage of unhelpful mental patterns. It was an eye opener for me, in my late twenties, to come to an understanding that awareness does not rely on thinking.
This first happened at a silent yoga retreat after a powerful chanting session which triggered an inner landscape which was shockingly clear, fresh and creative. After the retreat, however, it was difficulty to deal with the habitual energy of a thinking mind when it returned, since that state the Buddhists call “emptiness” was still unfamiliar at the time.
I have come to think the solution is not to disparage the thinking mind but celebrate it’s useful aspects and at the same time to develop the skill of being able to enjoy the benefits of suspended thinking. To do that, it helps to bring attention to the natural breathing process, for example, and/or to practice deep relaxation. Also, the long term practice of meditation was fundamental to my learning to separate thinking from awareness.
Gudrun Mouw (c)
October 22, 2020
On the tile roof, a seagull stands strong against the rising down-coast wind. Sun shines sideways through the pepper tree, whose shadows dance wildly inside the parked car, where I wait during this pandemic for take out food, as wind moves everything it can. I have been waiting, quietly, since we hid from the Gestapo, though I didn’t know what I was waiting for. And now, I wait again in this current era of dictators and would-be dictators as that strong bird still stands against a down-coast gale.
September 19, 2020
© Gudrun Mouw
Every day has been an inexplicable challenge. Right now, California has dangerous air quality due to out of control, killing, destructive wildfires due to massive lightning strikes. The anxious energy is almost overwhelming on top of the many other challenges we have been facing in our beloved nation.
As an antidote, I have been reading Swami Muktananda’s PLAY OF CONSCIOUSNESS:
“Just as the Pacific Ocean remains an ocean even when it breaks into waves, in the same way, as long as you are aware that the whole universe is your own splendor, you will realize your (personal experience of) Godhead, and remain in that realization despite your tendency to see the universe as separate from yourself.”
The fog lifts, a breeze bends the long grasses, and this western dirt is summer dry. Another stay at home corona virus order presses down on activities of distraction. Anxiety passes through like a south wind on the way to the ocean. There is a resurgence of “hysterical intolerance,” says the woman with 6 names. May all be safe. May all be well. Om Tat Sat.
Some benefits from yoga related practices are short term, and some are long term. The fleeting experience can feel overwhelming, whereas the long term is often more subtle, taking a certain amount of patience to understand. The same way, knowledge varies in kind.
My current practice needs to be more direct: May I accept the things I cannot change. Change the things I can and have the wisdom to know the difference.
Gudrun
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