Gudrun Mouw Posts

IMG_1255The Summer 2016 issue of News from Native California arrived in my mailbox. And, as usual, I very much looked forward to reading it.

In the article, “My name is Abran Lopez,” I was impressed by the author’s comment, “I don’t think we survived on excess. I think we survived on diversity.” I was once again reminded of the powerful gift of diversity–how freeing and creative it is, for example, not to get locked down on a narrow perception of how something should be.

I was shocked by the article, “The Doctrine of Discovery: Unmasking the Domination Code,” by Sheldon Wolfchild. I had not realized that the Doctrine of Discovery, based on the fifteenth century papal bull, “Inter caetera,” which called for the subjugation and conversion of non-Christian nations, has not yet been officially revoked.

On a lighter note, I enjoyed “Kale Yeah!” This “Salmon and Kale Stir Fry” recipe by Meagan Baldy sounds really good. Can’t wait for the completion of our kitchen post-wind-sheer repairs to try this out.



(C) Gudrun Mouw, a.k.a. Krishnaprema Jyothi August 13, 2016

Journal Entry

Today, Only Today

I wait, but July is quiet. 
A woodpecker taps until suspension 

creates a ringing sound 
that something may soon arrive. 

The slider cracks open 
to remind me, 

though yesterday held my head in a vice,
I will not anticipate tomorrow.

July 14, 2016
(C) Gudrun Mouw

A Poem

June 4 and and Beyond….

golden gateThe journey south continues through San Francisco, and more memories return–when I brought my daughter and her friend, David Ray, (who became one of my best Poet-in-the-Schools students) to San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park in the early 1980’s for a nostalgic feast of music, dancing, jokes and giggles. I am reminded that David, sadly, passed away at an early age. I feel a deep loss, my own and my daughter’s.

This morning, my driving companion and I search out a San Francisco Trader Joe’s to buy something for our later lunch. The parking lot looks packed, so I hop out to find a bathroom. I go down the escalator. A guard stands watch at the bottom.

People come and go. The San Franciscans move quickly, look self-assured, crisp, with contained, intelligent looks. When I see my friend, she is clothed differently than the others I’ve been watching, and I realize, as we go through the store, that we are both, quite obviously, not big-city residents. We dress more casually. We move more slowly. It takes a while for us to search for what we want; then, we have a leisurely conversation with our check-out person (after I check to see that there is, surprisingly, no one waiting behind us). He looks mildly astonished as he picks up our goods one by one. His smile seems to say, these two are definitely from somewhere else.

We drive on towards Highway 280 which brings back my younger days–where my daughter was born and where I worked as a columnist. I share stories about our home near Stanford University. We discuss the possibility of a side-trip to investigate further but decide not on this trip and find a park where we enjoy a brief lunch break.

Our conversation changes driving through the drier counties. As landscapes appear closer to what is familiar for both of us, our driving discourse becomes more personal; perhaps, because we are aware that very soon we won’t see each other again for at least a month. We make frequent stops, then, dive into conversation once more.

For the rest of the journey, I experience intense currents brewing inside, and I continue to vibrate with an energy that goes beyond the residue of continuous vehicular movement. Perhaps, there is more to investigate, more to understand. At one stop, I watch my friend share a portion of her cooler’s food to someone who was checking a store front’s garbage can. I appreciate her quick and kind response.

Since returning home, I have come to see how fortunate I was to participate in a celebration of something that’s often truncated by our modern digital advancements. We are frequently circumscribed by a world of incomplete sentences, of unique abbreviations and spellings, of emojis. This can be both cute and convenient; however, such modern communication can sometimes become substitutes for comprehensive, nurturing talk that helps to embrace diversity, grow our compassion and add to our knowledge of essential matters. I have come to understand how nourishing it is to give each other the time and space to fully express what we mean.

I have a deeper appreciation for how deeply illuminating our face-to-face human connection can be when it is not delineated by the limitations of our devices. I am deeply thankful for the insight and strength given to me for this recent undertaking.

Journal Entry

Washington_mtMay 22, and….

I drive my rental car towards Chico, California and look to the East. Thin, almost translucent gray clouds also travel, moving along the mountain’s ridge and dissolving inside dawn’s coming light.

Soon, I will head North, then eventually West to new territories, so I may continue to recognize that internal place where I am already. Yet, the challenges of an extended journey, I know, may bring fresh perspective and growth. It has been a complicated trip to plan with many moving parts. However, I am beginning to feel the uplift of an adventure finally underway.

I journey through the Central Valley that is sinking, the sign says, 3 inches every month and eventually pass signs that say “NO WATER=DUSTBOWL.” A sudden impulse tells me, close windows, don’t inhale deeply. I am near the cow holding camp where thousands of cramped and confused creatures tread dirt, awaiting what they do not yet understand. Sadness permeates as if the smell of death has already begun.

After 8 1/2 hours, I arrive at my first destination. Two boys call, “Omi!” I collect my hugs like precious jewels. Screams of 6 year and 4 year old joy catapult the new hot wheel cars Grandma bought. Days go by too quickly. Parting words by my son-in-law, “We love you. Come back any time,” move me into that place where grateful tears secretly collect.

May 27, and….

Gudrun Waves at a Baby in the Airport

My daughter and I fly to Seattle, Washington. I am comforted through rough air bumps by the presence of someone I have adored since her birth. We land. Quickly, she finds the exit to meet our shuttle. We greet our fellow travelers and ride to the ferry.

Vashon_FerryWe are on the way to Vashon Island. There is moisture in the air. Water surrounds us. The ferry barely seems to move. Soon we arrive to continue through the island’s small town charm–a step back in time, surrounded by water views, trees, more trees and grass; all of it exudes an easy and rich variety of green.

At the retreat center, my first impression smiles at the confidence with which deer nibble on lawns around buildings in the presence of whoever passes by. A small fountain gurgles near the building where we are staying. Between very tall trees, on the way to the to our dining hall, we glimpse the ocean which surrounds us. Locations for our various activities are spread throughout natural surroundings just far enough to give me the experience of a good walk-about.

My traditional sense of the meaning of retreat is tested in a loving way. There are times of silence and reflection throughout, of course, as well as my retreat habit of waking up early and sitting before a lush view. What’s added here is a renewed appreciation for the art of conversation–respectful conversations that encourage listening, becoming models for words used with sensitivity towards the needs and capacities of others. Old friendships are renewed and new ones made. Interactions all around give off waves of friendly connection.

On a day when the sun appears, sitting outside, fawns with their sporty dots scramble in view with such abandon, all discussion ends, and we are uplifted into surprised delight. And, oh, I see robins! How long has it been?

I experience a quiet expansion, an unfolding, a sense of something experienced many times before, yet a subtle new door also opens. Transitions seem easier, moments of isolation, standing apart, behind, or alone become apparitions from the past and no longer take precedence.

May 31

The next part of the journey begins with sad partings from my daughter and others. I am off to Gig Harbor, riding with a long-time meditation and yoga student towards the home he shares with his wife, a recently certified hatha yoga instructor, 6 dogs, 2 cats and a parrot on over 4 acres.

We drive along the shoreline; the idyllic landscape and buildings pass by more quickly, perhaps, because of that verbal exchange which happens when old friends, who have not seen each other for an extended time, reconnect.

June 1

The journey towards Ashland, Oregon begins with the kind of goodbye tears that signify a subtle movement towards transformation. The beauty of the heart’s capacity to reach out feels like this morning’s sun shimmering over moist greenery. As we drive by mountain volcanoes at the horizon, covered with snow, Mt. Helena, Rainer, Hood, my Gig Harbor companion asks, are they feminine, or masculine? Being the passenger, I look with greater concentration. Words come without forethought, but who can really convey eons of the slowly, evolving consciousness of rock?

The highway climbs, drops downhill, curves this way and that. We enter a landscape still green inside passes and valleys; but, gradually, I see higher meadows beginning to go dry.

AshlandIn Ashland, we greet another former student, now a yoga and meditation teacher, at her home next to a creek that also embraces us with soothing hospitality and background music. We are sheltered by trees, and the heat that has been prevalent, does not seem to penetrate.

At a water-side restaurant called the Green Leaf, we meet another friend and yoga teacher, who will be driving the next stage of this road trip. The subtle expansion of energy that has been rising within me is causing my body to shake in a way not visible to the casual eye. I need to sit.

Stories roll out, and the punch line for one is, “Mashed potatoes!” No one is eating mashed potatoes. This is a metaphor in a tale about audacity. We get it. Laughter releases, and the conversation, which includes an Ashland High School student involved in the theatre life of that place, pitches into unhampered ease. More importantly, preconceptions disappear.

Discussions the next day touch areas where shadow meets light. Shifts happen. In an atmosphere of caring hospitality a pause between motion is very welcome. There is that moment of realization that the “The say yes to life card” is the opposite side of the coin to “Don’t believe your thoughts.” Which one comes first? It is up to us.

June 3

Heading south, my new driving companion, who lives near me, points out views of Mount Shasta. I remember this mountain from a previous journey, when coming to the foot of the summit trail, I saw a climber return with the glittering eyes of someone who has had an intense experience of transcendence.

In some ways, I compare Mount Shasta to Kailash–a sacred Himalayan Mountain, about which my teacher, Swami Satchidanandaji, wrote in his book, Kailash Journal. There, he nearly lost his life. There, he had powerful experiences of enlightenment. My travel friend and I both agree that Mount Shasta looks as if it has created a perfect unity of male/female formation.

Siva/Shakti comes to mind–the male and female energy forces that eradicate ignorance and raise the latent Kundalini energy. Soon, we arrive at the green, green water of Lake Shasta, pass the signs, Fawndale, Wonderland and turn towards the Northeast Bay.

Near_EugeneOn the Highway 37 Bridge, we pass over the estuary’s thick green marshland, where I spot egrets, ducks and coots surrounded by grassy islands. We follow sand colored hills and traffic to Healdsburg near the Russian River.

We arrive at a hillside home and see a couple waving at their front door, former students with the open hearts of a long-time connection that has not faded. The love that has been accumulating, slowly and steadily throughout my journey has become a strong current surging through my entire body.

I am delighted by the simplicity and elegance of a newly renovated, spacious great room opening gracefully to broad views. We sit at a round table overlooking sky and foothills curving 180 degrees around us. Again, conversations continue, and that gathering of love, once more, blossoms like a bouquet of fragrant flowers.

to be continued…

Journal Entry


From Ashes Into Light by Gudrun Mouw has won the 2016 International Book Awards in both the Visionary Fiction and New Age Fiction categories. Gudrun Mouw and everyone at Raincloud Press are very excited! We appreciate the recognition!

From Ashes Into Light is available online or through your local bookstore.

Description for the Award Winning From Ashes Into Light

From Ashes into Light is a transpersonal tale of epic tragedy, spirituality, family, and personal redemption. It is told through three distinct voices: the haunting story of Ruth, a Jewish adolescent during Kristallnacht in World War II Austria, Saqapaya, a stalwart Native American from coastal California during the time of the Spanish conquest, and Friede Mai.

Friede is born during WW II to a Bavarian soldier and an East-Prussian mother. As those around her struggle with the inevitable chaos and paradox of war, young Friede opens her heart to gruesome enemies, at times helping her family members escape atrocities.

With war behind them, the Mai family immigrates to the US, where Friede, her veteran father and ex-refugee mother, struggle with reverberations of trauma, suspicion and prejudice. Upon leaving home, Friede meets her spiritual guide and confidant in her fiancé’s Rabbi, who helps her see that the voices from her past are teachers and the horrors of history also contain beacons of light.

Three electric characters weave a narrative of raw consciousness, a moving example of transforming the ripple of suffering through the incredible strength of vulnerability.


Post by Erika Lunder, Publisher at Raincloud Press

Contact her at: raincloudpress @ gmail dot com

From Ashes Into Light

Gudrun has begun the process of reviewing a draft of the next book in her From Ashes Into Light trilogy. Stayed tuned for more soon!

Forthcoming Work